The Kane side
Can I just start by saying I am from a family of big breasted women. Passed on from my Dad’s ( and fellow BRCA2 carrier) Kane side. Sisters: Yvonne, Clare, Cath and Maria (below) all have way more than what is necessary. I’m not talking about your average ‘big’ cup of C or D either. I’m taking about mahoosive G, H, I, J, K, L cups that you could easily wear as a hat.
This isn’t a brag. This is often a slog. It leads to bad backs, shoulder pain, bad posture, awkward teenage years, huge dents in your shoulders through years of hoisting up those things and general unwanted attention. Our Cath even had a breast reduction because of the pain caused by hers – which incidentally were almost treated like a separate entity with their own charming name ‘bad boys’ which we had a wake for shortly before her surgery.
Fortunately for me I was the only Kane sister who inherited some of the smaller Briggs (my Mum’s)breast size too so I’m naturally a D.
Growing up I’ll be honest I was teased at home for having small boobs and applauded by my mates at high school for having big boobs. It didn’t lead to confusion as such, just an appreciation of the wide variety out there.
Because of the amount of girls in our house growing up (our John was the only youngest boy) no matter how the conversation started at family meal times or gatherings, for some reason it would always come back to boobs in some form. I still, to this day, have no idea why this happens. With Our Clare’s breast cancer diagnosis in June 2015 and now mine it’s just adding fuel to the fire! We must all be obsessed on some level.
One of the inevitabilites of growing up in a house of 7 with 1 small bathroom is that you see each other naked. A lot. Apart from Our Clare who always slunk in before any one else.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I’m convinced that’s why I’m totally at ease being naked. I’m not saying I’m an exhibitionist as such I just have no qualms about it. It’s all very natural and normal to me. I’ve been a live nude before at Manchester Arts College and most of my friends have seen me naked and aren’t fazed.
That doesn’t mean to say I have a perfect figure by any stretch. I still have my baby belly 10 months on. My boobs are too saggy and my bum’s just a bit too big. But my body tells a story as does everyone’s. I know I can, with a little effort, get back in shape again and feel lucky that I’m able to do so. But at the moment until that happens that’s ok, I’m not gonna beat myself up about it.
I was wondering whether I’d feel a sense of loss after having the mastectomy and whether this would knock my body confidence at all but it’s just far too soon to tell. I certainly won’t get any pleasure from them anymore as I have no nipples and will be numb for quite a while until my nerve endings reconnect again.
I asked Will his views about it before the op and he was unfazed by my suggestion of loss or whether he’d be bothered by my boobs being different. He was looking forward to the perkier arrivals 😉.
At the moment I’m just glad 99% of my breast tissue has been taken away to eliminate the chance of the breast cancer returning, so my practical hat is firmly on. In time I’m sure I will be just as comfortable with my new boobs as I was the last.
I’ve made the decision to photograph the changes in my boobs from pre to post surgery as it’s an important part of the journey for me. I respect that not all of you will be comfortable with this and so they are boob shots only. Plus it’s part of an ongoing page which shares a warning that not everyone will want to see the content so just stay clear if you think it’ll offend.
Follow my Boob Diary page to see how they’re getting on.
Liz, 26th June 2017